The Last 60 Hours - Top 10

10.  Staying up all night in the Miami airport playing Skip-Bo

9.  A three hour plane ride to Mexico City

8.  Learning how to follow the leader amidst my 31 peers so as not to get lost in the Mexico City Airport

7.  Riding an outside tram to our terminal in Mexico City that reminded me of Cedar Point

6.  Arriving at the Cancun airport to find that only one of our teams had money in the team accounts 

5.  Finding out that we had to leave two of our teams at the Cancun bus station because there were not enough tickets for all of us

4.  A 10 hour bus trip to the side of the road in the middle of nowhere where 3 hours later we finally taxied our way into Palenque

3.  Arriving at our destination 52 hours after we began traveling

2.  Having all of our team finally here this morning, except one who should be here by this afternoon!

My Joy is beauty. I hesitate to use the word beautiful as it seems overused. There is a beauty about her that permeates her surroundings. It is a beauty that encourages you to come closer, to touch her, to see what is in her that you are missing. It is a beauty that is healing. Her words, her touch, her voice are soothing to the soul. It is the inner beauty that makes her so physically appealing. She is stunning, but her heart and spirit is what draws you into her.

Joy is a servant. She has a servant's heart that fulfills the need, whatever it may be. If she sees someone in need, she will most likely go out of her way to do what needs to be done. It is just the way she is. Some even question her intentions, believing that she must either be crazy or have an ulterior motive. But she doesn't. She just lives to serve.

Joy is passionate. When she loves, she loves deeply. When she hurts, she hurts deeply. Her emotions sometimes get the best of her, but her emotions are also one of her gifts. For when she listens, you can see the love and care in her eyes. She mourns when others mourn. She rejoices when others rejoice.

I love Joy with all that is in me. I tell her how much I love her. I tell her that I will take care of her. I tell her that I will never leave her. I remind her that I know everything about her and still don't love her any less. I speak to her of all the things I love about her. I speak encouraging words to her and tell her how beautiful she is. I remind her of how much I love to spend time with her and miss her when we don't get time together. I wait patiently for her to call me, to say my name, to ask me to spend time with her.

My Joy, she has this dream. She has this dream of feeling beautiful. She wants to be cherished. She wants to be loved. But, my Joy is waiting for a man, more specifically a husband, to validate that she is beautiful, that she is cherished and that she is loved.

I am not enough.

As I have been reading through blog upon blog, I have encountered several that were especially insightful.  So, I thought I would provide a few for you!

My 5 ALIVE teammate, Sara -  This I Believe...Jesus Ruined My Life

Jeff Goins, World Race Marketing/Blogging Extraordinaire - Deflecting the Love of Jesus and Calling It Humility

Seth Barnes, The World Race Founder - Being Content In Every Circumstance

Dre Lindquist, fellow July '08 World Racer - You and I are no longer 'dalit's

Angi Francesco, October '08 World Racer - A Promise Shattered

DEPARTURE:  We leave in 46 days!  Our plan is to congregate in Miami on June 28 and head out early morning on Sunday, June 29, 2008 to begin this race in Mexico. 

SUPPORT RAISING:   I have been blessed time and again to see the money coming in!!  He is teaching me about faith and trusting Him for my provision.  Here are the facts:  I currently have $4644 in cash in my account with approximately $2200 in pledges which totals $6844!  I am almost halfway to my goal!! 

By June 1, I must have $6500 cash in my account, so please continue praying for His abundant provision to fall upon my finances.  I am believing that He will provide all the money I need for the race and ALL the money I need to cover expenses at home while I am away.  The Lord has been speaking to me about the Matthew 10 passage where Jesus was sending out the disciples.  Stay tuned for more on that later!

HOW AM I DOING?:  It seems as if I am on this winding mountain road that never seems to end yet there is no way to go back the way that brought me to this place on the journey.  All that to say, (giggle) I am crying one minute and elated the next.  I am in the process of losing my life.  In order to follow His plan and path for me, I have to lose the dreams, the plans, and the path that I had laid out for myself because He has bigger dreams and plans for my life than I can even fathom.  This is where I get stuck.  I am grieving the loss of my dreams while attempting to believe that His are better than mine.  And to be honest, He showed me the other day that my pride allows me to hold onto the lie that my way is better and that I am right because it is MY life.  OUCH!  What an ugly thing to hear, but He is answering my prayer to make me more like Him!  Even when I don't feel like it. 

PRAYER PARTNERS:  As you can tell from the brief update as to how I am doing, I could use all the prayers I can get.  For those of you prayer warriors who would like to partner with me to pray for myself and my team, please send me an email at mbringingjoy@gmail.com.  Or if you just want to send me a message, I would love to hear from you!!

TO ALL MY SUPPORTERS, PRAYER WARRIORS, FAMILY, FRIENDS & BLOG READERS:  Thank you.  I appreciate you more than I could ever express through these menial ramblings.  The Lord has been teaching me about boldness and vulnerability.  I know that somehow He uses these words to minister, and I am forever humbled by the glory of His name that is a result of my being vulnerable and putting myself "out there." 

When I began to consider the things that I believe, the Lord reminded me of the brokenness that happened with Christina and the girls.  As I considered telling the story, I realized that I needed to be able to articulate what it was like for Christina.  So, I asked her to share her point of view.  With her permission, I have chosen to let you read her words.

To be honest, I don't even think the first 6 months were all that rough…between moving from one house to another, your work schedule, and the perception I had of you prior to your moving in (that you were nice, quiet, introverted…not one to "ruffle feathers"  J) the first bit at Mifflin was fine.  Things started getting a bit hairy, I think, when we started the cohort together.  I know that something shifted to where you felt not only like you couldn't measure up (not to who God wanted you to be but rather who you thought I was) but also that you were "wrong" (not guilt-based, but more shame-based).  Although there were times when an encounter with anyone in the house was a bit "crunchy" as we would say, I know that the person you would at times let in the most but also shut out the most was probably me.

 A major barrier that we both had to overcome and work through is the idea that "different is not wrong…it's just different."  I do think, when the Lord is trying to teach us things, there can be spiritual lessons and emotional lessons to be learned, but I also believe there is a time when you, utilizing the will that God has availed you, either choose in or choose out…this choice leads either to more bondage or greater freedom.  While you were going through this process, I truly believe that Ashlie, Shanny, Cheri and I were going through it as well, learning in our own lives what thoughts and mindsets were bringing us into greater wholeness or leading us towards more destructive tendencies.  Our brokenness, and our healing, necessarily impacted one another because of the close proximity with which we shared our lives.  So when you began to believe that you COULD (through Christ and the will He has given you) heal, and grow, and change, God gave us the love to show you through the rough patches and into a place of greater freedom.  The love and grace we had, I truly believe, is not something that came from our flesh…that, too, is a gift from God.

 Now I'm not gonna lie…there were times, especially about a year or so in, when I said to God, "I don't know what else to do…I can't make her know that I love her, and I can't make her understand that I'm not judging her because we are different."  And God would use either time journaling, or praying, or a conversation with one of the girls to remind me that "…it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure" (Philippians 2:13).  Just as God was at work in you, He was also at work in me, granting me grace and redeeming the brokenness with which I was living out my life.  And the more we sought the Lord, received healing, and walked in His grace and truth…the more we loved one another as Christ loved us, this friendship turned into one of the most profound expressions of Christ's love that I have ever known (and yes, even I get teary at the thought of that!).

Upon reading this, I realized that I had expected something different than this, a story of grace and love.  With tears streaming, the Lord reminded me of that thing called grace that I often forget to extend to myself.  He gently asked me to forgive myself for the "character flaws" that He has used to make me more beautiful. 

This is the story of how He used my "ugliness" and turned it into beautiful brokenness. 

This picture is one of my most favorites of Christina and I.  She is one of the most precious people in my life, and I have come to LOVE our differences.  She is a beautiful woman of God, and I am blessed to have the privilege of being in her wedding this summer before I go racing around the world.

We were asked to write an essay called This I Believe  about what really matter to us, as preparation for this world missions adventure called The World Race.  This is what I believe....brokenness is a gift. 

Over the course of four months in 2003, I moved in with three girls, began attending seminary, and started attending an inner healing group.  (If you haven't already noticed, God has to use MAJOR changes in my life to get my attention, apparently!!)  Each time that the Lord layed these things on my heart, I was like "are you crazy!?"  But like an other crazy person that is seeking Him, l did what He asked of me. 

 As I began to assimilate myself into this house of three women, I realized quickly that this was not what I had signed up for. These were really nice women, but they were in my space, in my stuff, and they talked about EvErYtHiNg!!  (Did I mention that they are all counselors!?)  Right:  Ashlie, Shannon,Christina and me

 (Shannon moved out along the way and we added our friend Cheri to the mix!)

I knew that our honeymoon period was over when I completely lost it one day and went berserk over some cat puke.  Yes, it was gross, but it did not warrant my outrage.  I quickly internalized that there was something wrong with me yet again. 

I began seminary with my roommate, Christina, who is a 4.0 student and all I could see when I looked at her was my failures and inadequacies.  So, she became my scapegoat. 

At the time, I knew that my responses to her were "crunchy," as we liked to say.  Yet I continued to treat her differently than my other roommates.  I snapped at her often.  I blamed my responses on her unwillingness to understand my point of view.  I blamed her for not understanding my feelings.  And most significantly, I wounded her out of my woundedness.  She tried to talk with me several times about my responses and attitude toward her, but she normally received a cold shoulder and an icy glare.  I specifically remember one of these chats like it was yesterday.  We were standing in the Mifflin kitchen at the bottom of the stairs. And I remember thinking in my head that what I was saying and doing to her was not right, but I did not know how to fix it.  So, it just kept continuing.

Until one day about a year and a half into my living with them.  Someone called a family meeting to address the tension in the house (AKA Melanie's issues).  And I can't honestly tell you how it started or what was said.  But this is what happened. 

I found myself at Christina's feet, weeping, pleading for her forgiveness.  I have no idea what I said, nor what anyone else said that day.  But what I can tell you is that in my brokenness, I found healing.  I had wounded this girl over and over, yet she daily brought me to the feet of Jesus, loved me despite myself, and forgave me. 

I can't ask for a better gift than that.  And it came from my brokenness.

STAY TUNED for Part 2.  I asked for Christina's version of the story.

As I prepare to embark upon the most uncomfortable, exciting journey of my life, I keep hearing the question "Why are you going on The World Race?"  So, in case you haven't heard, here is my story!

I heard about The World Race through Mallorie Miller, who was a January '07 Racer.  I knew her from A-town and actually had the privilege of having her stay with me for a week a few months before she left.

Throughout her year away, I lived vicariously through her blogs as I laughed and cried with the stories she painted.  As I was reading her last two blogs, When Worlds Collide I & II in late November with tears flowing freely, I just kept saying "I want to do this!"  To which my roommate exclaimed, "Why not?"  So, I gave her my list of reasons I believed that I could not do this "crazy race" as I had deemed it in my mind.  To which she replied, "Isn't God bigger than all those things?"  (FYI, I often want to throw things at her amazing wisdom because she is normally right!)  But I could not wrap my brain around the idea that I could actually do this race.  So, I just let it go.  A few times in the following month, I would think about doing international missions, but I just kept thinking that I needed to decrease my debt before I would be able to do anything.

Fast forward to our young adult New Year's Eve party.  I was approached by our ministry leader, who just happens to be the psychologist at our church.  And he responds with words that you never want to hear from a pyschologist:  "So, when are you coming to see me?  The Lord has been chatting about you lately."  Believe me when I say that I would have rather heard anything but that. 

So, I met with him a few weeks later to determine what the Lord had been tattling about.  The Lord had been telling him that I was "miserable" because I was not doing what He had called me to do.  As I sat there rather dumbfounded and somewhat elated that it wasn't the "worst case scenario" that I had conjured in my mind, I asked if he knew what it was about.  He stated that he did not know.  But within fifteen seconds, he said  "does the word 'international' mean anything?" to which I jumped out of my chair and exclaimed "ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?" 

I met with Mallorie a few days later, and she mentioned that there were two specific times during her race that she knew she would be having a conversation with me about missions and asking the question "Are you ready?" 

So, I came up with this great plan to go to Africa and began researching organizations.  Until about two weeks later when the Lord began prompting me to listen to His still, small voice.  And this is what He said:  "That was your plan, and this is mine.  I want you to go on The World Race." 

As my pastor always says, "We will never win an argument with the Lord."  I tried, but to no avail. 

So, here I am. 

Before I begin to tell my story, I want to share a few lyrics to the Casting Crowns song "Somewhere In The Middle."

...Somewhere between the wrong and the right
Somewhere between the darkness and the light
Somewhere between who I was and who You're making me
Somewhere in the middle, You'll find me...

Mark Hall from Casting Crowns wrote this song and the following is his response to the question "what is the distance between Sunday and Monday mornings?" 

"When we're at the altar, everything makes sense," Hall says. "We know what we're supposed to do. We know how we're supposed to live. Everything's black and white. But somewhere between the altar and the door, when we leave and go out into our lives, it all leaks out, and everything gets gray again. The Christian life is the journey between the altar and door, trying to get the things you've got in your head, into your hands, feet, into your life. The Altar and The Door is all about the journey. The realization on the journey, the struggles and the victory of seeing it as possible."

Since returning from The World Race Training Camp, I would like to tell you that my prayer life has expanded, that my relationship with the Lord has grown leaps and bounds, that I have brought joy to all that I encounter, that I have learned how to take what I learned in Training Camp and apply it to my life.  But I just can't.  Because somewhere between Training Camp and this moment, I forgot about who I am.

It has been a battle.   A battle that I was not prepared to fight.  I allowed the enemy to whisper lies that have now seeped back into my life.  I sit here in the stench of old coping mechanisms that have left me feeling alone, dirty and hopeless.  I am "somewhere in the middle." 

Yet I just heard this still, small voice that said "I just want your stench." 

I have been sitting in my stench for several days, ignoring the whispers and convictions to turn to Him.  As my friend Kyra tells me all the time, "I know you'll make the right decision in the end.  It just depends on how long you want to be miserable."  I can't explain it.  I don't know why I sit in my stench, but what I do know is that He always brings me to this place.  This place of brokenness and beauty.  "He will give a crown of beauty for ashes."  Isaiah 61:3 NLT

That's it.  I don't have any answers beyond the truth that He just wants my stench. 

I want to introduce my family to you.  Or at least the family that will be running around the world with me this next year.  The following ladies and myself comprise the group, 5 ALIVE!  We came up with this name after much discussion about being precious, being living stones for the Lord (2 Peter 2:1-12), being alive, and well, you will see.  So, here they are:

This is our beautiful, fantabulous Sara Ellis!  She hales from the windy city these days and is ecstatic to be throwing all caution to the wind and racing around the world with the rest of us!  From day two of training camp (I didn't meet her until then because she came in late!!), I knew that the Lord had connected the two of us in His random way of doing things!  I am blessed to be traveling the world with this daughter of the King!!

Natalie Montgomery is her name.  This beautiful Texan will be our coordinator and our financial guru with her amazing organizational skills!  Natalie is seeking after the Lord's heart with a fervor that is contagious.  I am blessed to be traveling the world with this daughter of the King!!

Here is Amy McAllister, our quiet, yet vivacious all-that-the-same- time girl from Atlanta!  Amy is a powerful weapon against the enemy as she is a passionate intercessor.  It will be sweet to watch this beautiful woman of God stamp on the devil around the world as she prays heaven down!  I am blessed to be traveling the world with this daughter of the King!!

And last, but certainly not least, our fearless Colorado leader Ali Page!  When I arrived in Atlanta for training camp, Ali's smile and sweet spirit put me at ease immediately.  I'm not sure that this beautiful girl has a frown in her!  We, as 5 Alive, are delighted to have Ali Page as our leader, for she has been chosen by Him to lead us this next year!  I am blessed to be traveling the world with this daughter of the King! 

We began the task of settling on a name by going out of camp and "making a memory."  And boy, did we make a memory!! 

After a fun-filled, laughing time at the local thrift store, some hilarious pictures, a few bites of delightful sweets and coffee at the local bakery, a trip back to camp to determine if we needed some foreign language name, we finally decided on 5 ALIVE.  A little fruity maybe, but oh so ALIVE in Him!!

 Cherry (Ali), Grape (Natalie), Orange (Sara)

Peach (Amy) and Kiwi (Me)

And yes, we bought some of those delightful articles of clothing, so stay tuned for your 5 ALIVE action news beginning in July!!